Catharsis is Evil Now
What’s going on?
In one of our recent meetings, the team behind Catharsis discussed how our current language may not reflect our true goals. Thus, a re-brand was proposed. After careful consideration, we have decided to switch moral alignments and turn to the dark side.
In the coming week, we will be editing our mission statement to better reflect our new crooked outlook. We will also put together a long-term timeline of diabolical plans. We’re still a bit new to being evil, but we hope to work up to more ambitious endeavors (such as world domination) in the next couple years.
What changes will this bring?
From now on, we will be planning more nefarious events such as generative scheming workshops and an evil laugh open mic to promote villainy.
Obviously, our expectations for submissions have changed as well. We are now looking for only the most screwed up, dark and twisted nonfiction you all have to offer. It is our hope that Issue V will strike fear into the hearts of our readers, and more importantly, those who stand in the way of our new goals.
Evil henchman applications are now open
We wish to amass an army of faithful minions to assist us going forward. Anyone can apply! There are zero requirements. Please join our army. Applications close at 11:59 pm.
We are getting rid of Confessions
We have decided that our iconic Catharsis Confessions have created a space that is too safe. The concept of sharing your secrets without fear of judgement opposes our dubious morals, so it cannot remain as-is. One idea we have for a worthy replacement is Catharsis Roasts. After we implement this, we will still take confessions, but our confessions designer will respond to the vulnerability of select submissions with scathing remarks. Part of our entry-level evil plans includes being mean on the internet. Additionally, instead of creating aesthetic artwork to go along with the posts, our designer will be creating scary images that are unpleasant to look at.
Is this an April Fool’s thing?
No, we’re Catharsis. Fools is a different campus mag. Read the logo.
